Noisy neighbours and their dogs

Neighbors barking bastard dogs

Ahhh, how I miss being young and ignorant of just how hard even the most basic things in life can be, such as just living in your own place without fantasizing about murdering your neighbours (and their yapping fucking mutts).

I consider myself fortunate to live in a quaint little town in England, the kind of small town where the population is generally nice, you actually see people smile, hoodies and chavs are a rarity and you won’t get your head kicked in at any of the pubs, very quaint.

Me and my partner and our 2 boys moved into a nice little house nearly seven years ago and we were happy, it is a terraced house and the neighbours on each side kept themselves to themselves, typically British, polite, acknowledged your presence if you bumped into them outside, said hello and the usual BS.

This all changed about a year ago, when our old neighbours sold up and the most annoying retarded fuck wits unfortunately moved in next door, they are not violent or throw shit into your garden, but they are noisy as hell, they consist of a mother (early 50′s) and her two ignorant shit faced offsprings (late 20′s).

I will not forget in a hurry the day these fuck wits moved in, it was a nice spring day and the neighbours from hell moved in with a cacophony of barking, these pricks actually have THREE YAPPING DOGS, I had the door open into the garden and the noise was unbearable.  I thought, okay, not good, but surely it shouldn’t be a huge problem, HOW WRONG I WAS!!!

Now, there are six bitches altogether (3 humanoid type dogs and 3 regular type dogs), no men in the picture here, won’t even speculate as I have no idea!

This might sound harsh, but it is not nice being woken up every fucking day without fail at 6:30 AM by an insane howling when all these bitches wake up, the fucking dogs run up and down the stairs barking and howling like crazed hyenas and that is just too early for me to have my beauty sleep interrupted.

I have no idea what this family of dingle berries do for a living and really couldn’t care less, but when you are heavily negatively inconvenienced, you can’t help but pay a little attention.  I guess this shitty little family have something to do with horses (yes, these bitches actually look like fucking horses too) and wake up at the same ungodly hour every day and come back covered in shit with their shitty Mitsubishi Jeep covered in SHIT.  This is DAILY!  No offence to looking after horses and being covered in SHIT, that’s okay if you can be a good citizen.

After three weeks of this nonsense and SHIT, not wanting to confront mad, horse looking bitches face to face, I wrote a note saying their dogs were driving us crazy and dropped it through their letter box.  When they came back from their (whatever they do with horses), ding dong went our bell and I thought, great, I actually have to speak to one of these crazy bitches.

It was at this point I truly realised how stupid and retarded this fucking family was:

"Oh, I had no idea we were making so much noise, this was never a problem where we were living before

The best I could come up with was:

"Well, the walls must be very thin here

What I actually wanted to say was:

"Fucking hell, you stupid bitch, were your old neighbours fucking deaf?

Anyway, being a nice person, I was just all smiles, when in reality I just wanted to kick this stupid Cow in the fanny but would of probably have lost my foot.

Anyway, I recommended the dumb bitch buy some anti barking device for her dogs and she agreed to do this to no effect, whatever she SUPPOSEDLY bought made absolutely no difference and after numerous complaints these fuck wits just DO NOT GIVE A FLYING SHIT about waking me and my family up every FUCKING DAY so early in the morning.  This crazy shouting between themselves and dog barkinging can last for many minutes each morning just after 6:30 AM, you can feel yourself losing the will to live!  It’s hard to go back to sleep after so much friggin noise.

If it’s not their fucking dogs, they are just loud, things like relaxing in the garden are a thing of the past as they come home early and they are also in the garden with their yapping dogs and these fucking people don’t talk to each other like normal civilized people, oh no, they actually shout at each other, as if the other person is far, far away, like on the other side of a busy road with noisy traffic.

There is no noisy traffic here, just serene beautiful English countryside, ruined by noisy ass holes next door and their yapping dogs that couldn’t give a shit about whether they are a nuisance to anyone else, true selfish disgusting ass holes that do not give a shit about anyone else (another fantasy of a Molotov cocktail being thrown next door comes to mind when I just want to chill in my garden without hearing screeching shouting voices and barking fuckin dogs), yet all this shit never ends!!!

Why do they have to shout?   If it’s not that, these retarded bitches also manage to slam the door every time they exit their probably manure infested house, making our own house shudder.  What the fuck?  These fucking so called humans must of been born with some seriously faulty circuitry!

I just do not understand how people can be so inconsiderate with their fellow neighbours, how I miss the peace and tranquility of our old neighbours, these bitches have ruined our peace and we cannot wait to get the fuck out of here and it is all due to them being inconsiderate, pig headed ignorant bitches with no regard to other people.

To finish, since these anomalies have moved in, we are certain not once those poor dogs have been taken for walks, no wonder they go crazy ape shit every morning, probably not their fault, they must be thinking:

“Please, have mercy, just a little freedom down the park or just a little ‘walkies’ would be good, two minutes of your time! fellow bitches”!

 FUCKING ANIMALS!!! (the human kind in this instance)