Habbo Hotel: The Hangout For Fucktards.

Habbo Hotel, One of the biggest free online games their are, It’s not Runescape nor is it Soldier Front, Its a teenage version of Club Penguin really, except its not owned by Disney, Habbo is owned by Suslake, Never heard of them? Your not alone.

They first created their game in 2001, only used in the Uk and the US, Habbo eventually created a version for many countries in the world, bringing the bullshit factor too a 3, Not a bad start.

Enough of the history, Habbo is what would happen if you could create your own little Avatars on MSN and walk and talk. It sounds good, but is just shit. I will admit, I was played this game for about 3 days, I spent around £5 on this game too, I regret buying the Habbo Currency: Credits, So yes, I basically spent my money on virtually nothing.

And like real life (Which most of the Habbo inhabitants don’t know a thing about) There are Chavs, Emos, The LOT! and thats what sends the Bullshit Factor too 6, Wow Habbo isn’t doing well in my books at the moment.

There is also an exclusive club on there called the Habbo Club, You can buy it with the Bullshit Credits, It’s what separates Habbo in two. The Habbo Club gives you monthly rare furniture, All new Hairstyles and Clothes and you get a piece of shit badge too match!

These Habbo Club people really sit at the top of the Shit Barrel, they think they’re a popular lot, OH LOOK AT ME I MANAGED TOO SPEND MONEY OVER THE PHONE FOR VIRTUALLY NOTHING! GIVE ME A FUCKING EMMY!

And what pisses me off, is that they go up too people and start shit like “Oh, whats a matter, can’t buy HC because you can’t afford it?” and thats where I would go up too them and say:

“Hey, shut the fuck up, He’s probably richer then you, he just dosen’t want too waste his money on an internet game, No ones as sad as you, stealing your mothers money and buying credits with them, your not rich because you have a Habbo Club sofa, so sit the fuck down”

By that time, the nob would have reported me, thats what makes me laugh about habbo, The Hc’s start on random people, but can’t back it up when a passer-by comes along, or they say stuff like “Lol Noob, Watch Me Capitalize Every Letter And Act Smart Roflmao.”

They really think they can act cool because they can walk and talk in Exclusive Costumes on the internet, fucking wow, give them a medal.

And what really annoys me about Habbo is the stupid little e-daters that go up too you and chat you up, but when you don’t wanna know, they bite your fucking head off, heres a conversation that I remember a month before I left Habbo, at that point, I realised how shit it was, and that I wasted 1 weekend playing it:

Girl: o hi se.x.i lol, a/s/l?

Me: Its really none of your business really.

Girl: o, ok lmao, do u hav Bobba?

Me: Huh?

Girl: do u hav Bobba?

Me: Wtf is that?

Girl: do u hav m…………s………………..n?

Me: No, I don’t (Lie, XD)

Girl: Will u go out with me, we cud get maried and hav litle children, dat cud be ur little children!

Me: FUCK NO!

Girl: o, well ur ugly anyways, dos children we had, i fuked ur best mate ron for dem.

Me: Lol, I didn’t even have children with you, and who the fuck is Ron?

Girl: ur dumpd, get out my face!!!1!

Me: We weren’t even going out!

MOD MESSAGE APPEARS: You Have Been Banned For Two Hours For: Sexual References, Banning Ends: 8 Hours

Oh, By the way, Bobba is the shit censorship that Suslake use, It really doesn’t stop people though, because you can turn it off, or you can hold Ctrl + Alt and press any of the Vowels (á, ó, é, í, ú) and replace the U’s in your swear word with that, and it won’t come up with Bobba, Problem solved, Habbos Programming is really that shit.

In those 8 Hours, I packed my bags and left Habbo, that's an example of the amount of Whores on this game, Seriously, If you leave your habbo in a random spot, some whores going too come up too you and chat you up, I was banned for what reason? Sexual References! Which I didn’t do, thats another fucking thing: The Mods are USELESS, When I first joined Habbo, I hated getting into arguments, so when a gang of Retards picked on my character, I told them too piss off and expected them too, They didn’t, I moved my character too another table, they followed, and insulted me again, I got up, told them too get the fuck out and then suddenly:

MODERATOR MESSAGE: You have been banned for: Harassment. Time Limit: 2 Hours.

And that was my first banning, Why didn’t they ban the Retards starting trouble!? No! ban the other guy! He’s sticking up for himself, WE CANNOT HAVE THAT! Yet when I report someone, they never come along, When someone else does, SUPER MOD TOO THE FUCKING RESCUE! I’LL BE THERE IN 10 SECONDS!

Then there's the guys that are called: Rp’ers. they go around, assembling Mafias and Gangs then they raid your room, or anyone elses room, and just piss you off. I don’t mind these guys, as long as they stay the fuckk away from me, they can do conquer the world for all I care. Just stay away from me. because those fektardsm usually run up too me saying

“THIS IS A FUCKING ROBBERY, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY NOW!!!”

This is the point where I give them a nice “fuck off.” at this point, he runs too the other end of the room for backup, then 2 more people come along with him and say:

“DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR MESSING WITH! SKULLKNIGHT123S FAMILY MAFIA!! -SHOOTS-”

Wow, I was just shot on a game, My character isn’t even dead, but I was shot! then suddenly they shoot me 1000 times, I walk away, only too be accused of using God-Mode. Sorry too say guys, but I’m not playing Bank Robbery, I’m trying too enjoy myself. Maybe I’ll get my friend too play Bank Robbery with you lot later, and like you guys, He’s also 11.

Once I got into an argument with someone on Habbo, they then came up too me when they stopped google searching insults too use on me. and he went -Pulls out knife-

-Slices your stomach-

-You fall down-

-You are dead-

So then, being 41, I decided too Rp this shit out.

-Pulls out my gun-

Guy: THATS WRONG!!! YOU CAN ONLY HAVE 3 WORDS PER ACTION!!! YOUR CHEATING! GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! I WON!!

There are RULES too this Rpg crap!?

OH YES, 3 WORDS PER ACTION, VERY SMART, VERY SMART INDEED! AS SMART AS A RETARDED GOOSE!

Oh, and the thing that tops all of that, are the Habbo Babies, thats right, Teenagers actually act like babys on there, begging too be adopted, be given furni, then the baby disappears forever! They come into a room saying: “Oh swir, hwelp mwe, I’wve wost my mwummy and dwaddy… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

Then they continue too go: WWWWWAAAAAAAAA!!! and flood the room with complete bullshit, theres usually a flood counter that will mute anyone thats flooding the room, but with these little fuckers, the flood counter ignores them. Its Habbos way of saying: Ha! You have too watch these little fuckers e-scream!!! HAHAHA!!

The babys go around asking too be adopted, coming up with shit filled stories like: “My mwummy and dwaddy dwied in a cwar cwash” Or “My pwarents hwated mwe, they weft me on the pwavement” Just for attention, and one stupid idiot replys too their calls and stupidly falls for them. There are many groups that are protesting for every baby too get banned, but then they go around and adopt babys, then apparently beat them up (-Smacks In Face-) then the babys run off, the person thinks that the baby will never set their eyes on being adopted, so they’ll stop, but then the baby continues, as long as they get given their make believe furniture and money, they’ll keep going for as long as they can!

Wow, The Bullshit Factor has hit the top, A Whooping 85/10, thats pretty bad, Anyways, All in all, Habbo Hotel is a piece of shit, and as years go on, All the RP Nerds, Chavs, Rich Scum and Teenage Babys are going too take over, Actually, If I signed on right now, they probaly would have, I really don’t recommend signing up too this shit, Even if you wanted too just check it out for 5 minutes, don’t waste your time, Because in those 5 minutes, you will be Chatted up by some 13 year old whore, Picked on by some ‘rich’ asshole whos probaly living off of the money that mummy gets from opening her legs.