Television Adverts

Fuck me, i'd eat this in a roll myself

Today's focus of attention is television adverts. Don't you just find them incredibly fucking senseless and irritating? Take that Cesar dog food advert for example.

People love their pets, especially in the UK. We are a nation of animal lovers but this advert is just taking the piss. It shows an attractive, unexplainably single woman, that devotes what seems to be her entire waking life pandering to the perceived whims of a White West Highland Terrier, all with a loving smile on her face like the dog is her baby.

question one – why hasn’t this apparently successful woman got anything better to do with her life than spend all her time looking after a little white yappy dog?

question two – in what kind of psychiatric institution would you have to be in to serve your dog a plate of meat that wouldn’t even make it into a fucking hot-dog sausages in a style that would make the critics on MasterChef effervesce with adjectives on the presentation. It is not Novelle cuisine. It is dog food. Let us not forget, the consumer of this food is a dog. They lick their own arse and eat their own, and other dog’s, shit. The reality is that the dog doesn’t care what it is given as long as it is fed and this is the nub of what I find so annoying about the advert. The ad is not about the dog food it is marketing bullshit. It is a mirage of codswallop designed to make a mundane product seem more important than it actually is and therefore attract a premium price. You can feel superior to your neighbours that buy that crappy normal dog food. It means you love your dog more because you spend more money on it. Even the name gives it away. Cesar. Although the spelling is different, it makes you think of ancient Rome, of emperors, of excess.

In the past dogs were animals, not anthropomorphised members of the family and dog food was dog meat. Pedigree Chum, I seem to recall, had Barbara Woodhouse, the strict disciplinarian dog trainer, barking her copy in her headmistress like tones. There was always a shot of a big brown, wobbling tower of dog meat cut with a knife. Still disgusting, but at least it was more honest.


While im on the subject of pet foods, i'd like to turn your attention to that fucking Whiskas Chicken Advert.
Cats are okay, I suppose but most of the time they are just purring parasites that just stick with people for the food they can get. In the Whiskas chicken advert I think it is trying to say that their cat food is as good as fried chicken cooked by their owner. The advert shows the cat in the kitchen looking eagerly at the frying chicken. It then puts its paws on the work top. Unlike many people who think, what a cute cat. I just think Toxoplasmosis. I think it is really disgusting to have cats in the kitchen where they will inevitably jump on to the work surfaces. People say that cats are clean, but Toxoplasma gondii is a parasite that can be spread through cat faeces. Imagine the scenario; Cat has a shit, buries it in the garden and then comes into the house, jumps on to the work top where you prepare food. It just makes me feel sick.

Why should cats have food that is tastes like human food anyway? They are quite happy hunting birds or catching mice and rats. I suspect that it meant to appeal to the owners because cat food smells so disgusting that it makes you gag.