Mothers!

So here I am eating lunch a few weeks back at Hut 4, (one of the worst fucking place on  earth to eat but its the only place at Bletchley Park). I sit on the patio, enjoying the gorgeous Enlish sun and probably the worst cheese sandwich I’ve had eons when two very well dressed ladies (maybe in their late 30’s, I guess) with oversized buggys arrive and take the table next to me. By their appearance, they gave the impression of bored, wealthy, Surrey housewives trying to be lower class chic and eating with the “regular folk”, but then I thought maybe I’m wrong and I shouldn’t judge.

Well my assumption was right and they spend what seems like an eternity taking turns campaigning for how “special” their precious little wonder of life is and all the accomplishments their one year old has made (considering they can’t walk or talk and constantly shit themselves.)

Unfortunately for me, hut 4 at 1pm on a Friday is packed to the gills, and finding another open table is near impossible. So I just had to suck up the bad luck I was having and finish my meal as quickly as I could.

But what happens next made me want to projectile vomit into their high end Louis Vuitton bags. They take the sleeping babies out of their strollers to show what name brand “onesies” they are wearing and begin to uncomfortably talk louder and louder over each other, in the form of “civil disagreement” but was really more like two inmates yelling at each other from across their cells. I actually found myself compelled to say something, but was literally frozen in shock watching these two hens squawk at each other.

Now I feel I need to put this out there, Dante loves the younglings. I think kids are great. I really do. Many of my friends with kids will tell you the same. I think they are genuine and come into this world with tons of trust that their care givers are telling them and teaching them the right things.

Which makes what I’m watching unfold in front of me so hard to take. So I did what nobody else around us had the balls to do, I asked them if they could stop shut the fuck up so the rest of us could try to enjoy our food in peace. Of course for the first couple of seconds they gave me the “how dare you peasant” look. But then had the nerve to tell I should move if I didn’t want to hear what they are cackling on about.

Now those who know me can vouch that I am not a confrontational grumpy old bastard. Don’t get me wrong, I will handle my business if and when the time calls for it, believe that, but I don’t go actively go looking for fights or quarrels to get into.

But I found myself now in the position of taking a stand for those of us who have to put up with this asinine shit all the time. I basically told these “ladies”, that what they are doing is annoying the hell out of every one around them and to just agree that both of their babies are God’s little womb present. And they both sat there stunned and silent. I knew they would not be able to come back from that. They pretty much immediately left, and on top of that, one of the tables sitting nearby actually bought me a beer.

The problem is, We live in a fucking “nenny state” where kids are constantly “getting” instead of “giving,” playing sports where they don’t keep score so nobody is seen as a “loser”, and most importantly, kids are not receiving the gift of slapped arse that I got when I was a wee lad. If it weren’t for a regular dose of the rod not being spared, who knows where I would be right now? What happened to daddy’s belt, or fetching a switch off the tree for mum?

Parents like these two women not only spoil their children, they pretty much ruin them. Baby Worship has sucked away something our country needs to find again, SHAME! See shame was put in place for a reason by the “Powers That Be”. Our society needs shame like we need air and water. Cause without the blessing of shame,

It really all comes down to this, I think it’s great that you have a child who maybe years ahead of his or her time. He or she may be the next Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, or Mariah Carey.

but the thing you have to always remember is this, no matter how extraordinary your crib midget is, “WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT EVEN IF YOU WANT US TO”! I’m not to trying to be an arsehole I’m just sayin.